I am a proud cyster - 1
I have always looked forward to the day I would write/talk or altogether get to address people about my experience with the silent illness called polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). Some people prefer to call it polycystic ovarian disease (PCOD), but I prefer PCOS to PCOD, it sounds less of a serious matter when it is referred to as PCOS. This disease condition I had coupled with lumps in my 2 breasts but as at the time I came to the realization that I had lumps; I was only conscious of the one present in my right breast. I did not realize I had it in my 2 breasts. Upon realization when I was diagnosed years later it was all due to hormonal imbalance.
I was in my senior secondary school years when I started to notice that I had a lump in my right breast whenever I was having my bathe. I was so scared I could not tell anyone, not even my mum. I was not exactly the most vocal person among my peers nor among my siblings. I was the person in the room who was never noticed nor paid any attention to. The only thing that made me stand out few times was my book related intelligence if you know what I mean. A senior student was accused by her classmates and friends of seeking for unnecessary attention because she cried out one day in the hostel that she had lumps in her breast but when she was taken to the sick bay, the nurse said there was nothing wrong with her. She was ridiculed among all the girls including her classmate. And as a person that was always questioning everything one of my actions, I was never sure of my actions, and I did not want to be ridiculed, I kept it all to myself.
While still in secondary school too, I started to develop strange pains in my lower stomach. At times, it was the right side and sometimes my left side. Whenever I complained to the nurse, she just always gave me paracetamol to take and most times, I was never relieved and I was just too scared to go back to complain because if you were caught or thought to be malingering, marks would be deducted from your overall term’s score and punishments would be served. I did everything right because I hated been ridiculed in front of the whole school because of every little thing. I summoned courage one day, I walked up to the school nurse during sports period and explained in detail what exactly was wrong with me, and the pain patterns and she told me that the next time I went home for the holidays, I should tell my mum and she should take me to go take a scan.
On my way home for mid-terms that year, I told my mum and as a typical Nigerian-Yoruba mother that she is, she said something along the context of “God forbids bad things. Awusubillahi, nothing will be wrong with you to the extent of you needing a scan”. So, the whole thing was swept under the rug. Whenever I experienced the pain when I resumed back to school, I just took to sport to let the pain all out. I participated in all the female sporting activities to the extent that at my final year in secondary school, I was the only female offering Physical Education in my class. I participated and competed with the boys. By the time, the period was over, and I had sweat it all out, the pained was either drastically reduced or I just went straight to sleep due to fatigue hoping that by the time I was up from my sleep, the pain would have reduced and thankfully most often it did. That was how I dealt with the pains all through secondary school. Some of my friends caught me writhing in pain sometimes because it started to affect my walking posture that I would start to limp. Although I would have loved to be cared for and pampered, at the same time, I loved to portray that very strong girl right till this very day, so I always refused their offer to take me to the sick bay giving all types of excuses and I did not want the nurse to know what my mum had said regarding taking the test, because in a way I was ashamed to tell her what my mum had said. The school nurse never asked me if I had taken the test or not and I never mentioned it or said a word to my mum regarding the pains any longer.
To be continued……….
